Are You?
by DySolo
Summary: What would have happened if JJ went to find Spencer instead of having a drink with Will? During Jones  02X18


**Title:** Are You Going To Be There?  
**Rating: **PG for a few swear words.  
**Pairing: **JJ/Reid  
**Summary:** What would have happened if JJ went to find Spencer instead of having a drink with Will? Spoilers through Jones.  
**Author's Notes: **One of my stories (To The Cave Reid/JJ) has been nominated for Profiler's Choice Criminal Minds 2010 Awards for Best Garica/Reid story. You should vote for it!**

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Are You Going To Be There?

JJ pulled her jacket towards her as she walked into another jazz club. She knew when she found the man she was looking for, she was going to tell him exactly how many jazz clubs there were in New Orleans - too damn many. She could be having a drink with a cute detective right now, but Emily had texted her, telling her Spencer hadn't answered their call and he wasn't on the jet. So, now, here she was, visiting the 12th jazz club in two hours. She searched the club, her eyes widening as she saw the tall, lanky genius sitting, talking with someone. She stomped up to him and his friend and glared at him.

"You better have a good damn reason why you didn't answer your cell phone, Spencer Reid."

The jazz musician looked from Spencer to the feisty blonde. He smirked at the man before excusing himself to go warm up for his show later on in the night.

Spencer stood up, stammering. "JJ, I.. there's no reception."

"No reception?" She pulled out her phone before showing it to Spencer. "I have five bars!"

Spencer sighed and turned away from her. "You wouldn't understand."

"Understand what, Spencer? The nightmares? I have them too." Her anger was fading into concern as Spencer sat back down in his chair, his delicate fingers running over the rim of his glass.

"It's more than that, Jayje."

JJ lowered herself into the chair his friend had been occupying moments ago, before looking at him. "Talk to me, Spence."

He shook his head, looking up at the stage. "William Congreve said that music has the charm to soothe the-"

"I don't care what William Congreve said, Spence. I want to know what's going on with you. This isn't like you. To miss planes, to not answer our calls-"

"I'm struggling." He said, softly, almost a whisper. "With all this."

JJ didn't know whether to reach out or let him continue. She decided to be still. She watched as his emotions came to the surface and he tried to hide them, looking at his glass of wine. His fingers moving on the glass again like they had done just moments before, but this time, he concentrated on it, as if it were some hard equation he couldn't solve it.

"Every time I see a crime scene photo, I think about him and the victims he killed and what he did to me and...It's overpowering. It's suffocating and I... I don't know if I can do this job anymore."

He sighed as his phone buzzed again before he pulled it out of his pocket and turned it off. He set it down on the table between them and JJ stared at it.

"...I can't walk past a dog."

Spencer looked up at her. "What?"

"When I go on my runs in the morning...If someone is walking their dog, I freeze. I... I know it's nothing like what you must be going through, but...I sort of understand."

Spencer laughed and shook his head. "I've been using drugs."

JJ sat back in her chair, not by the news - she had known something was wrong and she had assumed it was drugs. The fact he had said it, though, was startling - so bluntly.

Spencer stared back at his glass. "Dilaudid. Every few hours. I'm high right now."

JJ scooted back to the edge of the chair and took the glass out of his hand, setting it to his phone, before grabbing his hands. "You're better than that."

"Am I?" He asked, moving to pull back his hands. She kept a tight hold of them, looking in his eyes.

"Yes, you are."

Spencer shook his head and looked at their hands. "I don't feel like I'm good at anything."

JJ opened her mouth before there was feedback from the microphone. Both turned to see Ethan standing.

"Hi, My name is Ethan Glass and I'll be performing a few songs for you tonight. I'd like to dedicate this to my friend, whose here from DC. It gets better, man. It gets better."

JJ watched as Ethan nodded at Spencer who looked away. She sighed before standing, pulling at his hands.

"Come dance with me."

"It's not that type of club, JJ."

"I don't care. Come dance with me."

"I don't know how to dance." He said, pulling his hands away.

"I'll teach you. It's easy." She grabbed his hands, putting them on her hands. "I'll lead. Just follow me. I'll teach you."

Spencer locked eyes with her before nodding. "Okay," he said, softly.

She wrapped her arms around his neck, looking at him. "I didn't realize you were so tall."

He looked at her confused and she just shook her head, her fingers playing with the edges of his hair. He sighed and tried not to tense as she got closer to him.

"It's okay." She said, softly, her fingers massaging the back of his neck. "I'm not going to hurt you."

He looked away, embarrassed that it was that easy to read him. JJ couldn't help but ache a little at the sight and how he felt against her, as if he was just waiting for the right moment to bolt. She moved closer, pressing herself against him and he tensed completely, his hands gripping at her hips, holding her close and yet at a distance too, so easy he could push her away and run.

"It's okay." She breathed near his ear and she heard his breath catch. They were barely swaying. "I'm here, Spence. No one's going to hurt you. I'm always going to be here."

"You can't make that promise." He said, lowly.

She pulled back a little, her hand resting on his chest. "I can. I can help you."

Spencer stared down at her and she prayed to know what was going on in his head, just for one day. She meant the words she had said, something had changed that night he had been captured. They would never be the same and no one but the other could understand that. They had walked in together and she had left alone. His burdens were on her shoulders. She reached out to touch his cheek and he grabbed her wrist before she could, staring at her.

"Let me be there."

She stared up at him as he stared back, neither moving, neither paying attention to anything around them. She watched as he kept his eyes on her, and tried to match his stare. It was slightly terrifying the way he was looking at her, as if he was staring into her soul, trying to figure out why she was here, why she was doing this. Slowly, his fingers uncurled around her wrist and she touched his cheek, softly. The look in his eyes became less searching and more confused as her fingers moved from his jaw to his lips, her fingertips barely brushing against his bottom lip. She had no idea what she was doing, but all she could think about was how soft they were. She raised her eyes from his lips to his eyes, which held so many questions. Too many questions to answer. She leaned in and brushed her lips against his before he pulled back completely, breaking the spell. She shook her head and pulled back, noticing the jazz music had paused and that people were watching them. She looked down, a slight blush on her cheek.

"I..uh... we should get going. There's still a killer on the loose."

"...I think I'm going to stay." He said, watching her.

She nodded before reaching out his shoulder. He didn't tense as she gave it squeeze.

"Come back soon, okay? We need you...I need you."

She patted his shoulder before walking back to where they had been sitting before. She took a sip of his wine before turning back on his phone and looking back at him. He stood in the place, slightly turned, watching her. She waved the phone at him with a look before setting it back on the table and going on her way out the door.

Once out in the fresh air, she took a deep breath and leaned against the wall. What had just happened? She had no clue what she had just done. Bringing her fingertips against her lips, she sighed. She had promised to be there and she was now just hoping he come to collect.


End file.
